Burning Down the House

Transcript: Texas State House, Tuesday, March 26, 2024

Senator Burns: Mr. Colby—

Marilyn Colby: Miss

Burns: Excuse me?

Colby: Senator, I am Miss Colby or Marilyn. You can use either.

Burns: I will not address you as something or someone you’re not, Mr. Colby. Now, what I don’t understand in all of this is why you think that the State of Texas should allow parents to mutilate their children. We have records of children as young as thirteen years old being subjected to sex-change operations—

Colby: No. You don’t.

Burns: Excuse me?

Colby: You don’t have those records, because those records do not exist. No child at the age of thirteen is given gender-affirming care beyond social transition and puberty blockers, which I might add are prescribed for any number of reasons, not just for trans children. Yet, I don’t see you objecting to those instances.

Burns: I am holding a record right here—

Colby: Which is false.

Burns: I am holding a record—

Colby: Which is false.

Burns: Sir, could you please instruct the witness to allow me to speak?

President of the House Torrance: The witness—

Colby: Mr. President, I will not answer the questions of a man wielding falsified documents, parading them as legitimate, especially when he cannot, at the very least, address me by my full and legal name and gender.

Burns: You do know that we can hold you in contempt.

Colby: Your contempt isn’t even a flicker compared to mine, Senator Burns.

(Rumble in the Chamber. Bang of Gavel.)

Torrance: Order. We will have order in these proceedings. Jesus Christ, is it hot in here? Someone check the damned air conditioning please.

Burns: I am still waiting for an answer to my question.

Colby: Then wait.

Burns: Excuse me?

Colby: I have time and patience, Senator Burns. Until you can produce actual evidence of some sort of abuse pertaining to the medical treatment of trans youth, I can wait.

Burns: This report—

Colby: Was proven false by every new source in this country including your reluctant conservative media channels. Everyone seems to know it’s a lie except you and your cronies, Senator.

(More murmuring.)

Senator Jane Kipling: It really is hot in here.

Burns: Shut up, Jane.

Kipling: Excuse me?

Burns: You heard me. Shut up.

Colby: At least he treats cis-women the same way he treats trans women.

Torrance: Mr. Colby

Colby: God damn it, its Miss. Miss. Marilyn. Colby!

(Sounds of an explosion. Recording goes to static. End of transcript.)

Transcript: Tennessee House of Representatives, Wednesday, March 27, 2024

Rep. August Malone: I tell you, these children are being subjected to obscene acts at these drag shows.

Rep. Taylor Salazar: Point of order, Mr. Malone is referring to Drag Queen Story Hours as drag shows with the connotation that what goes on at a late-night club is the same as a public reading in a library.

Malone: They are confusing children about their genders.

Salazar: They are reading The Three Billy Goats Gruff.

(Laughter heard in the chamber.)

Malone: Mr. Salazar, I know that you believe your people are beyond—

Salazar: My people? Which people are those? The gay ones, or just the brown ones?

Malone: This is what you people always try to do. You try to make bigots of all of us.

Salazar: You do a pretty good job of that all on your own, Mr. Malone. For instance, when you questioned my citizenship during my campaign.

Malone: I was only raising the concerns of my own constituents.

Salazar: The ones who couldn’t vote for me anyway because I’m not in their district?

Malone: Exactly. I only—

Salazar: Accused me of being an anchor baby who may or may not be a legal citizen of this country.

(Sounds of a gavel.)

Rep. Teri Hatfield: That’s enough, Mr. Salazar. Can someone please check the central air? The chamber is stifling. Where is the steward.

Salazar: I don’t think it’s nearly enough but whatever you say, Mr. Hatfield.

Malone: I just don’t understand why you feel the need to indoctrinate our children to your lifestyle.

Salazar: We don’t indoctrinate your children. You do.

Malone: Pardon me?

Salazar: I will not. I’m tired of pardoning you, Mr. Malone. I’m tired of this entire governing body. I’m tired of the snide comments. I’m tired of the way you speak down to anyone who doesn’t believe exactly as you do. I’m tired of your general superiority. And most of all, I’m tired of looking at your ugly fucking face every time someone brings up the rights of citizens who don’t look and think like you!

Malone: Mr. Sala—

(Sounds of an explosion. Feed cuts. Static.)

Channel 5 Local News, Thursday, March 28, 2024, 12:17 pm

Carolyn Jameson: Good afternoon, I’m Carolyn Jameson. We’re sorry to break into your regular programming, but we are hearing reports of an explosion that took place only moments ago at the Florida State House. As we previously reported government buildings in Texas and Tennessee both experienced similar events in the last two days. Our own Harrison Schuyler is on the scene. Harrison, what can you tell us?

Harrison: Carolyn, there are few details at the moment. We do know that the House was meeting this morning to hear testimony on yet another round of legislation targeting the LGBTQ+ community. This latest Bill some are calling the Right to Kidnap Act targeting LGBTQ+ parents of children, allowing the State to remove them from homes they deem immoral.

Reports state they were in the middle of hearing testimony when the explosion occurred.

Carolyn: Harrison, the Bill was controversial and had roused a lot of protests. Is there any reason to believe that one of these groups are behind the explosion?

Harrison: At this time, we have no way of knowing. We are…hold on, Carolyn. What? What are you talking about? (Reporter turns back toward the remains of the state house.) Oh my God…Carolyn, there appear to be people emerging from the wreckage. I can see three…no four individuals walking among the destruction.

Carolyn: Can you identify any of the people you’re seeing, Harrison?

Harrison: Not yet. I’m sorry. There’s too much dust in the air still. I’m going to try to get closer.

(Reporter’s feed cuts out abruptly.)

Carolyn: Harrison? Harrison, are you there? I’m sorry, we appear to be having technical difficulties at this time. Stay tuned to News 5 for ongoing updates of these events as they unfold.

Channel 5 Local News, Thursday, March 29, 2024, 12:36 pm

Carolyn Jameson: Welcome back to our ongoing coverage of the explosion at the Florida State House. We have reconnected with our reporter, Harrison Schuyler, who says he has one of the survivors of this devastating event. Harrison?

(Camera switches to Harrison now standing with a woman covered in dust. She looks dazed but uninjured.)

Harrison: I’m here with Amanda McNeely, chairwoman of a parents rights group who was says she was here to testify in the ongoing proceedings over the legality of the proposed bill. Ms. McNeely, could you tell us what happened?

McNeely: It was…I don’t know. They were hearing testimony and asking all of the usual stupid questions.

Harrison: What kind of questions.

McNeely (rolling eyes): Can two men really raise a child together without damaging the child in some way? Can two women raise a son without the influence of a father? Senator Carmichael was grilling one particular witness. It was…so hot in there. I’ve never felt anything like it. Like the heat just…came out of nowhere. And suddenly…everything just broke apart.

Harrison: What do you mean, broke apart?

McNeely: I mean there was a sound like an explosion, but it was different. Everything sort of moved in and then out again. It was…so violent. I saw…I saw Carmichael’s head…I’m sorry. I need to sit down, please.

Harrison: Of course, Miss McNeely.

(Someone moves onto the camera and helps McNeely to move away.)

Harrison, cont.: As you can see, what Miss McNeely is reporting is similar to what we’ve heard over the last two days. Authorities have not been able to determine the cause of those incidents, but survivors have all reported the same feeling of a sort of implosion followed by an explosive force that has decimated the buildings and most of the people inside them. Authorities are baffled by the randomness of those who survived, and have so far, been unable to link them together outside of their work for so-called LGBTQ+ Rights Groups.

Carolyn: It’s terrifying, Harrison. Are you safe where you are now?

Harrison: I believe so, and I’ll continue to report as the story develops.

Carolyn: Thank you, Harrison. Stay tuned to Channel 5 News for ongoing updates throughout the day. We now return you to your regular programming.

The Mitch Report, Conservative Commenter Mitch Watkins, Live Stream, March 30, 2024

Mitch: I am so tired of everyone equivocating about what this means or what that means. I’ll tell you what it means. There is a coordinated attack going on against conversative leadership in this country. Don’t tell me you haven’t noticed that probably 85% of victims have been our leaders on the Right.

I’m holding a list of almost two hundred state representative and senators who were killed during these explosions, and you can mark my words there will be more.

What stuns me most is that no one is doing anything about it! Why aren’t the survivors being arrested? Why aren’t they being questioned.

I can hear some of you saying, “But they were tested. There was no explosive residue on them.”

You fucking sheep. Do you not know that the left has been producing weapons of mass destruction for decades that can wipe out an entire city without leaving a trace?

They have now pointed those weapons at the very Halls of Justice in this country. They are leading a secret insurrection aimed at wiping out conservative voices and Christian pastors in this country.

That’s right. They’ve taken to the churches now. I just received word that during a revival meeting at the Holiness Church of Mt. Vernon, Alabama last night a similar “explosion” took place as the pastor was preaching.

Every person attending the service was killed with the exception of two young men, both of whom walked away untouched. I say these two men were infiltrators. I say they were the ones who caused the explosions. I say they should be picked up by the police, questioned, and thrown in the darkest cell they can find.

You mark my words, they are responsible for this, and there will be more of these attacks. You know it, and I know.

I’ll be back in a couple of hours with updates, but I’m challenging anyone in the Mt. Vernon, Alabama area to find these boys and make sure they’re brought to justice.

Mt. Vernon Police Department, Suspect Interview: Chase Yarbrough (18, male), Interview conducted by Sheriff Wiley Mariner

Mariner: I don’t do good cop. I don’t do bad cop. I’m just a cop. Understand?

Chase: Yes, sir.

Mariner: And you’ve waived your right to an attorney?

Chase: Yes, sir.

Mariner (mumbling): Idiot…

(Shuffling papers)

Mariner, cont.: So, Mr. Yarbrough, would you like to tell us what happened last night at the revival meeting?

Chase: Where is Tanner?

Mariner: Mr. Kent is being questioned at this time.

Chase: Trying to catch us in a lie?

Mariner (pause): Something like that. So, I’ll ask again…

Chase: Neither one of us even wanted to be at that revival. Our parents made us go.

Mariner: You’re eighteen years old. How did your parents force you to attend?

Chase: Oh fuck off…

Mariner: Mr. Yarbrough, I’ll ask you one time to watch your language. After that, I’ll put you in a cell for a few hours and we can try again afterward. Now, how did they make you?

Chase: I still live at home. I haven’t graduated high school yet. They said that meant I had to do what they said. My dad even threatened me physically.

Mariner: He threatened to hit you?

Chase: No…he threatened to beat my ass if I didn’t get dressed and get in the goddamned car. His words, not mine.

Mariner: I see. So, you went.

Chase: I did. I tried to sit by Tanner, thought that might at least make things bearable. His parents made him go, too, but dad wouldn’t let me.

Mariner: Why did you want to sit next to Mr. Kent?

(pause)

Mariner, cont.: I asked you a question, Mr. Yarbrough.

Chase (sighs): He’s my boyfriend.

Mariner: You’re what, now?

Chase: My boyfriend, okay. That’s why our parents forced us to go to that fuc—revival.

Mariner: So, you and Mr. Kent are both queers?

Chase: Yes…

Mariner: And your parents wanted you to go to church to…?

Chase: Make us straight.

Mariner: I see. So, when did you decide to blow the place up?

Chase: What?

Mariner: Don’t play stupid, boy.

Chase: I’m not your boy.

Mariner: Don’t sass me, boy. Tell me when you decided to blow up the church.

Chase: We didn’t! We didn’t do that. It just…happened.

Mariner: I’m not fucking stupid, boy.

Chase: Stop calling me, boy.

Mariner: Way I see it, we got a couple of smartass pansies who didn’t want to deal with their parents and their church anymore. You got tired of hearing the truth about yourselves, and you decided to do something about it.

Chase: We only got told we had to go to church yesterday afternoon. Even if we wanted to—and we didn’t—there’s no way we would have even had time!

Mariner: Bullshit. I know you kids. Always online. Watching those videos and all that anti-government bullshit. What was it? A pipe bomb?

(Chase laughing)

Mariner, cont.: What exactly is so funny, boy?

Chase: I told you…I’m not your boy…and if you think a pipe bomb could have done all that to that church, you’re dumber than you look you backwoods, redneck bastard.

Mariner: That fucking does it.

Chase: What are you doing?

Mariner: I’m going to put you in a cell.

Chase: You’re not fucking arresting me.

Mariner: No, I’m not. I’m just putting you in a cell. We’ll see how long you last down there. Maybe one or two of the other assholes locked up will work your little queer asses over enough to make you talk.

Chase: You can’t do that. I didn’t do anything.

Mariner: Christ it’s hot in here.

Chase: Oh god…

Mariner: The fuck is wrong with you?

Chase: Tanner! Tanner! It’s happening again! Tanner!

Mariner: He can’t hear you, Mr. Yarbrough. He had a little accident earlier. Had to be taken to the hospital.

Chase: You said he was being questioned…

Mariner: I lied…

Chase: What did you do?

Mariner: Not a fucking thing.

Chase: WHAT DID YOU DO?!

The Mount Vernon Daily: JAIL DEMOLISHED IN FREAK EXPLOSION LEAVING ONLY FOUR SURVIVORS

Mystery surrounds the explosion that rocked the Mount Vernon jailhouse yesterday. The offices were leveled leaving only four survivors.

Chase Yarbrough was witnessed fleeing the wreckage. The young man was at the police station following the explosion at the Holiness Church just two days ago. He was one of only two survivors of that tragedy.

Officers Sharon Newsome and Kyle Turner also escaped the destruction, though they were both in their offices at the time of the explosion. Both offices were completely destroyed.

County authorities are baffled at this strange chain of events, but have refused to make comments at this time.

Queer Central Online Community Post Re: Explosions

RPDR98: This stuff is really freaking me out! What is going on? I heard someone saying that it’s a group of queer terrorists. I don’t believe that, but if they are, they’re going to get a lot of us killed in the process. I mean, there are ways of addressing what’s going on without blowing up government buildings and churches!

DpThrt69: Seems like a good idea to me. I’m tired of all their bullshit.

ElderLez: That’s what I’m saying. Back in my day, we knew that sometimes you had to knock heads if you wanted to be heard.

RPDR98: But this is more than knocking heads!

CuntspiracyBaby: Any of you considered that maybe it’s something bigger than a fucking bomb? Like…what if it’s us? What if the folks in that building just got so mad it went boom!

ElderLez: Like spontaneous combustion only setting everyone else on fire?

CuntspiracyBaby: Yes!

DpThrt69: Oh god, here we go with the conspiracy nuts. Put your foil hat back on, bitch!

Comments have been turned off for this post.

BEYOND THE UNKNOWN Podcast, April 3, 2024, Dr. Kelvin Easton, Host

We have no idea the full capabilities of the human mind. We have no idea the capacity of humans to protect themselves in the midst of an attack. Certainly, we have all heard the stories of mothers who have lifted cars off of their children. People in a fight or flight position who have moved faster than humanly possible.

The human body has great potential energy inside it. Surely, it is possible for even these seemingly random explosions to be created without the use of explosives. How else could everything around them be decimated while they walk, dazed but generally unharmed from the scene?

We must consider this a possibility. We must consider that this is some sort of evolutionary protection.

Further, consider where these “explosions” have taken place. Combative congressional hearings, police interrogation rooms, church meetings where the pastors were known to preach violent anti-queer rhetoric.

The question is, can they harness this power, or is it entirely spontaneous? Something that only happens under stressful circumstances.

Tucson Pride: MORE THAN TWO DOZEN KILLED OR INJURED AT YOUTH PRIDE EVENT

Stories are still pouring in from every side of a Youth Pride event that took place this week in Tucson. Some thirty students ranging in age from twelve to eighteen years of age gathered at the event along with their parents The peaceful picnic at Memorial Park was meant only as a social event, but less than half an hour after the gathering began, a group of two dozen or more heavily armed protesters showed up at the event.

Sources say the men were shouting slurs at the children along with insinuating their parents were grooming them inappropriately.

“We were just trying to have a good time,” one witness who asked not to be identified said. “We didn’t even realize what was happening until they started shouting at us.”

Events escalated from there until a mysterious explosion took place opening a crater under the protesters.

“One minute they were yelling, and the next there was this terrible…boom…and they were flying through the air. I [expletive] grabbed my kids and ran.”

Only two of the protesters survived the explosion intact, and while everything is speculating at the moment, it’s hard not to link this to the previous events that have taken place around the country.

Houston Voice: GOVERNMENT CONCERNS RAISED AFTER YET ANOTHER EXPLOSION DURING A CHURCH BROADCAST

Viewers of David Malkovich’s Cornerstone of Christ broadcast this weekend were shocked when the show suddenly and violently ended.

Pastor Malkovich was in the midst of one of his infamous sermons decrying the so-called “homosexual agenda” when the several people in the audience stood up together and began shouting at the minister to stop what he was doing. Malkovich did not stop, however, and instead doubled down on his narrative, suggesting the protestors were demons sent by the Devil to harm the church and tear down the American way of life.

It was shortly after this that the entire building began to shake, and as we’ve seen over the past several days, an explosion followed which destroyed the building and killed nearly two hundred members of the church inside.

The instigators of the protest were seen walking away from the building shortly after the explosion. There is no word yet on their identity, but many in our community have called them freedom fighters.

Police and government officials are still unsure how to proceed with their investigations as every attempt to hold one of the survivors of these explosions have ended with more destruction.

At this time, more than ten states have pulled debates on bills involving Anti-LGBTQ+ legislation from their calendars, and more are expected to follow. Whether this means they will table the bills all together or not remains to be seen.

The Mitch Report: Mitch Watkins, Live Stream April, 12, 2024

Mitch: They’re caving. Every damned one of these governing bodies is caving. That’s what you think, isn’t it? That’s what I think, too. These fucking politicians are bowing to the rabble, letting them have their way, and for what?!

So little Susie can be Patrick and Michael can be Sarah? So two dudes can get married and have a fucking kid? Do we really need those kind of people raising children?

Lucky for all of us a group of US Senators are not backing down. REAL PATRIOTS have forced the issue, bringing in a set of proposed federal laws that would see these people pushed back down where they’re supposed to be.

We must return to traditional family values in this country, or we will fully fall to the communist socialist bullshit.

Your children are not safe until we squash this threat. Call your congressman today and let them know you support these Bills. Let them know that if they don’t, you will vote them out at the next election. That’s what real Americans do!

BEYOND THE UNKNOWN Podcast, June 1, 2024 Dr. Kelvin Easton, Host

Of course, what they didn’t know, what none of us knew, is that the community had started organizing. This was clear to some who watched the final broadcast from the Cornerstone of Christ Church. Those protestors had gone intentionally. They had taken places around the church at specific locations.

Locations where the foundation and ceiling of the structure were their most vulnerable.

For the rest of us, we had not seen, because we didn’t know to look. These protests have happened from time to time, especially in the churches who televised their services. It is an effective way of bringing notoriety and publicity to your cause. They simply used what they had been given to a larger extent than anyone had planned or intended. They had literally blown the roof off the church, and they all survived the doing of it.

But it is also important to note the other survivors. Children, yes, but also parishioners who later professed to being uncomfortable with the pastor’s constant haranguing of the queer community. Allies…children. Those who were, if not innocent, certainly less guilty than the others in their numbers.

It is also important to note that Pastor Malkovich survived that explosion. A week later, a popular collective online published an entire folder of information on the pastor including the illicit affairs he’d had with other men.

Was the pastor chosen to be saved? Or was his outing simply a byproduct. He had not died, because he, himself, was queer.

It’s hard to know. I don’t know that anyone, including those were arrested after the explosion and later released due to lack of evidence.

What we do know, is that on the morning of May 1, 2024, when Congress was set to take up the debate on Bills related directly to the rights of the LGBTQIA+ community, they weren’t alone.

Thousands marched with rainbow flags and banners onto the capitol grounds, encircling the building. Chanting, calling for the Bills to be thrown out. Calling for their elected representatives to listen to them or else.

We may never see again in our lifetimes what happened that day.

The ground rumbled. The building shook. It seemed to come from their very voices. The voices of people demanding to be treated like people, demanding their lives be treated with the same respect of that of their cis-het counterparts. Voices that shook the world and some five minutes after the gavel brought Congress to order and the Bill was introduced for debate…well…not to be too biblical, but the walls came tumbling down.

This morning, I am thinking of the words spoken one gay man on the street found stumbling away from the fallen Capitol building.

“We’re here. We’re queer,” he said, barely able to string the words together as he looked at the wreckage behind him. “And we’ll burn your fucking house down…”